Balkanalysis.com

Don’t let them Catch You Reading! Some Notes on the Inherent Evil of Almanacs

As al Qaeda threatens a new round of spectacular mayhem, and America steps up requests for armed marshals on incoming flights, the latest warning from the FBI cuts straight to the heart of the terrorist threat in America today. No, we’re not talking about lethal chemical weapons owned by disgruntled militiamen – we’re talking about something so dangerous it could only be possessed by a farmer, or perhaps even your grandmother. We’re talking about an almanac.

Locking On to Target

Indeed, reported the Associated Press on December 24^th, this threat is so serious that the FBI has just issued a nationwide police dispatch:

“…the FBI is warning police nationwide to be alert for people carrying almanacs, cautioning that the popular reference books covering everything from abbreviations to weather trends could be used for terrorist planning.

“In a bulletin sent Christmas Eve to about 18,000 police organizations, the FBI said terrorists may use almanacs ‘to assist with target selection and pre-operational planning.’

“It urged officers to watch during searches, traffic stops and other investigations for anyone carrying almanacs, especially if the books are annotated in suspicious ways.

“‘The practice of researching potential targets is consistent with known methods of al-Qaida and other terrorist organizations that seek to maximize the likelihood of operational success through careful planning,’ the FBI wrote.”

No Comment?

This gripping announcement symbolized a new low in the “war on terror.” The fact that it was reported without even a smirk shows that the American media is, as feared, brain dead. The AP report contained only this line:

“…the Associated Press obtained a copy of the bulletin this week and verified its authenticity.”

Now, even though everyone knows that America’s much-vaunted journalistic “standards” of objectivity preclude any British-style “commentary,” one nevertheless is astounded as to how this obviously ludicrous warning could have been conveyed without even the slightest intimation of doubt or surprise. In keeping with American standards, the opposite viewpoint – that almanacs are in fact harmless and not particularly useful for terrorists – was dutifully given at the end, when two almanac publishers were quoted. The requirement to give “both sides of the story” was thus satisfied – even if one of the “sides” was logically impaired.

This AP article is recommended reading for anyone who doubts the mass media’s propensity for “dumbing down” reality. As is so often the case, silence is complicity enough.

We’ve Got Your Number, Osama al-Manaqzi!

Indeed, should we believe that the same people capable of hijacking and taking over four planes almost simultaneously need to rely on the Old Farmer’s Almanac to get their coordinates straight? Or that they would be found meandering around American cities with such a tome, in order to decide on a target? Nevertheless, the FBI is asking patriotic local police officers to report any suspicious almanac-activity to their “local U.S. Joint Terrorism Task Force.”

What’s next, guidebooks? I can see it now: some unfortunate foreigner, leafing through his Lonely Planet outside a historical monument or other potential target, is dragged off in handcuffs just for trying to find a decent restaurant. Indeed, loyal citizens, the only way to guarantee your safety is to immediately put down any sort of reading material that might contain any logistical information whatsoever.

The Real Target – Thought

This is the crux of the problem with the Bush Administration’s approach to fighting terror on the home front. We all remember the PATRIOT Act’s requirement that public libraries be prepared to reveal what their patrons were reading. The logic was that readers huddled furtively in front of say, the Koran, might also be planning to blow up American cities. The librarians protested, as well they should have. Any idea of introducing the rule of the “thought police” to free America is particularly odious; besides, it’s also very unlikely that potential terrorists would ever be rooted out because of covert library ops.

Yet it’s not just certain material that is “questionable,” as the almanac farce has shown. In essence, the government’s scare tactic is meant to discourage loyal citizens from reading at all. Indeed, why should they, when Fox News tells them everything they need to know? Keeping the people ignorant and uncritical is a prerequisite to keeping up their support for foreign wars.

Purging the Universities

This scapegoating of free thought employs the same logic that lets Richard Perle – that great champion of American freedoms – slander the painstaking Seymour Hersh as “the closest thing American journalism has to a terrorist.” No wonder that the same government now fretting about almanacs is also the one planning a crackdown on university programs. Apparently, American international studies programs are just not pro-American enough:

“…Stanley Kurtz of Stanford University’s Hoover Institution, a conservative think tank, proposed the advisory board to a House committee in June. Kurtz testified that the programs, especially those that focus on the Middle East, are biased against U.S. foreign policy and actively discourage students from working for the federal government. Three months after Kurtz testified, Rep. Pete Hoekstra, R-Mich., introduced a bill on Sept. 11 to set up such a board.

“…The bill charges the seven-member board with advising the secretary of education and Congress on ways to improve international studies to better meet national security needs and to encourage students to work for the government.”

This revealing passage indicates that the government sees university funding as merely an investment having an anticipated return: that is, as an investment which should produce cookie-cutter graduates flush with pro-government pride and eager to work for the state. Just think – we could have lots of bright-eyed and industrious little Perles and Wolfies, just rolling off the university assembly line and ready to serve the state. If ever there were a formula for eternal war, this would be it.

Another Motive: To Make Local Cops Feel Special

However, there’s an additional explanation for the almanac announcement. Since the FBI warning was made internally (i.e., to the police) and not externally to the general public, it may be best understood as a way to boost morale amongst America’s finest – by reminding them of their status as front-line fighters in the war on terror.

Since 9/11, the average donut-shop cop in every small town has been bursting with pride over having a new role in the “war on terror.” However, in real terms, this has been largely for show. For all of the stark warnings given and apocalyptic scenarios envisaged, most local policemen in America are still doing the same stuff they were before – handing out traffic tickets, cracking down on underage drinking, setting up speedtraps and eating donuts. It’s not hard to see how the prospect of fighting international terrorists would seem a bit more exciting.

Unfortunately, the FBI’s dictate to already overzealous local cops only increases the likelihood of civil liberties abuses. The AP report quotes one David Heyman, a terrorism expert for the Washington-based Center for Strategic and International Studies. Speaking of the need to eliminate almanac conspirators, Heyman avers,

“‘…for local law enforcement, it’s just to help give them one more piece of information to raise their suspicions…it helps make sure one more bad guy doesn’t get away from a traffic stop, maybe gives police a little bit more reason to follow up on this.’”

Anyone who has ever lived in a small town in America knows that there’s absolutely no good reason to further “raise the suspicions” of underworked and overeager local cops. If my hunch is correct, the FBI is just toying with their emotions and playing on their patriotic pride, in order to make them feel like “part of the team” in the war against terror. In the case of the almanac (and related weapons like, say, road maps) this manipulation could have unpleasant effects for overtly literate citizens everywhere.

The Almanac – A Substance Merely for ‘Recreational’ Use?

Civil libertarians have long criticized the Bush Administration’s inverted sense of justice, which states that the accused is guilty until proven innocent. This propensity has been witnessed in the detention of hundreds of terrorist suspects, held without charge or access to a lawyer. The guilty-until-proven-innocent formula has been utilized for attacking whole countries (like Afghanistan and Iraq) and for threatening so many others.

In this context, note the credulity with which the AP reports the FBI announcement:

“…the FBI noted that use of almanacs or maps may be innocent, ‘the product of legitimate recreational or commercial activities.’ But it warned that when combined with suspicious behavior – such as apparent surveillance – a person with an almanac ‘may point to possible terrorist planning.’”

Note the phrase – “may be innocent.” That this has to be explicitly stated reveals the underlying implication of guilt left unsaid. To its great detriment, the Associated Press reported the phrase verbatim with neither comment nor chuckle. It would have been far more apt and objective to have written, at least once, that “the crafters of the FBI’s warning may not be raving idiots.”

Almanac Publishers – Front and Center!

Suddenly put under the spotlight, almanac insiders were forced to hurriedly account for their questionable activities. “I don’t think anyone would consider us a harmful entity,” said the World Almanac’s senior editor, Kevin Seabrooke. As if he thought the suspicious law enforcement community would be convinced, he attempted to defend his product, which contains:

“…about a dozen pages out of its 1,000 pages total listing the world’s tallest buildings and bridges but includes no diagrams or architectural schematics. ‘It’s stuff that’s widely available on the Internet,’ he said.”

For his part, the publisher for The Old Farmers Almanac, John Pierce, also brushed off the allegations set against the “…famous publication of weather predictions and witticisms.” However, understanding full well the severity of the charge, Pierce knuckled under and decided to play ball with the Feds:

“…while we doubt that our editorial content would be of particular interest to people who would wish to do us harm, we will certainly cooperate to the fullest with national authorities at any level they deem appropriate.”

Eliminating the Threat

The FBI, however, is not convinced. Almanacs contain “…profiles of cities and states and information about waterways, bridges, dams, reservoirs, tunnels, buildings and landmarks.” As everyone knows, this is exactly the kind of information that terrorists want. Almanac publishers – can we trust you to act responsibly?

After all, should such an object fall into the wrong hands – well, no one wants to contemplate the dark, dark possibilities of unconventional almanac warfare or, even worse, the proliferation of the threat to other forms of printed material. These are dangerous times indeed – readers, you have been warned.